I have been thinking a lot lately about when to say goodbye to my dreads. My first reaction is judgement, that I should have had them longer, that I didn't have them long enough, that I failed...somehow. I know that none of this is true, but those emotions are still there are should be recognized. The end of April will be one year---yes, one entire year of having dreadlocks! It has actually gone by really quickly. I have mixed feelings about the year. I feel like they have been stressful and I've fretted over them much too often. But there have also been lot of times where I felt so confident wearing them, even beautiufl, sexy and powerful. I have oscillated between being self-conscious and completely home and empowered in them. I will definitely grieve that part of the experience. Aspects of having dreads I will not miss are : the hassle of washing and drying, flakies and random stuff in my hair, not feeling very comfortable wearing my hair down in public. With two young children it is hard to find the time to devote to them, and their craziness is, in part to that neglect.
So, as I continue to contemplate when the right time to begin to remove them I am really going to try to enjoy them as much as possible. I do feel like I will have dreads again someday. I know now the importance of getting them off to a solid start. Good, even sectioning, lots of rolling. I will definitely have shorter hair the next time and seek out someone who has expererience backcoming them, maybe even color my hair before. We'll see. Just as before though, I have to remember that it is just hair. It didn't define me before, during, nor will it after.
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